A good habit for keeping in contact.

Most of my friends no longer live in the city we grew up in. They are spread across the world. One of the downsides to this is that it can be difficult to stay in contact.

It seems strange, given the technology we have at our disposal, that staying in contact would be such a challenge. When my parents were my age if they went overseas you didn’t hear from them unless you got a letter in the post. International calls were expensive and the audio quality was poor so no one used them. Technology has certainly made it easier.

One thing that has changed is that no one seems to talk anymore. We send short messages or voice notes (my worst form of communication) over Whatsapp. This works for general day to day stuff but is a very poor form of communication for maintaining a good friendship.

A friend came up with a great solution to this problem – a call a month. It’s only for 20 minutes but it’s in both our calendars and we commit to it. 20 minutes once a month doesn’t sound like a lot but it has worked really well. Most of the time we speak for much longer. It allows us to keep up to date with each others news and discuss things that are relevant at the time. The key here is that it is not a huge time commitment.

The most important thing though is that it has introduced consistency. And maintaining relationships is all about consistency. 20 minutes once a month is far more effective than an hour call every six months.

If you’re struggling to stay in contact with friends I highly recommend this technique. But there are a few key things to remember.

• It has to be a conversation, preferably over video.
• It doesn’t need to be any longer than 20 minutes.
• It needs to happen regularly, whether that is one a week or once a month.

Try it. I think you’ll both find it very beneficially for your friendship.